Eddie sings "Were You There"

I originally posted this video
to my "piano house" facebook page.
This is Eddie, our little terrier.
He is named after the dog on the tv show, Frasier,
because my sons all thought he looked like him.

Eddie has been with us for about 8 years now.
First living with my eldest sons,
and then with us.
Until last October,
Eddie never sang like this.
In recent weeks
I can't even walk toward the piano
to pick up a piece of music
without him getting comfortable
on his tiger pillows,
getting ready to sing.

He really doesn't like the video camera,
so I don't know if we'll be able to post more of his songs.
But if he allows it,
we'll have more of Eddie, The Liturgical Terrier!

I present, Eddie!
(yours truly at the baby grand!)

I Am A Pastoral Musician

I asked a good friend
to offer the opening prayer
at the Choir Festival this Saturday.

Fr. Tom and I go way back.
He asked me
what was has been
the most significant things in my ministry
over these past 30 years.

Below is, quite literally,
the email message I responded with.
I decided to post here
and in my 30 Years In Music Blog as well.
I just thought
that those who read my occasional ramblings
on electronic parchment
might want to know
just what exactly
goes on in Rubi’s head.

The most significant things about my ministry
these past 30 years??

a few things come to mind. . ..

Gratitude
Learning to be grateful for many things,
. . . like years and years of classical piano study my parents gave me.
I hated piano lessons as a teenager,
but now can't imagine my life without it.
We sometimes walked to piano lessons with my mother
because my father worked swing-shift,
I think it was about 7 miles. . . I hated it!!!!
But today,
I am ever grateful my mother made us walk those miles
and made us take those piano lessons. . ..

gratitude. . . .I own a baby grand piano,
also a gift from my mother. . .
. . .What mother ever gave her daughter
a baby grand piano for a gift???

Learning what is my talent. . .
A lot people really don't know what their talent is.
Talent isn't necessarily artistic.
A lot of people don't know that either.
But what is my talent???
.. . is it really music?
Maybe.
But I'm more inclined to think
that it's bringing out the talent in others.
Sometimes they don't even see it.
I help them "see" that all things are possible.
Maybe music is the gift.
But I'm really inclined to think music is the avenue to something greater.
Bringing out the talent of others is the gift.
And even more,
bringing out the musical talent in others,
in turns, helps to bring greater gifts
that they didn't know they had.
 . . yes. . . music is the avenue. . .

The most significant thing?
The children.
Every parish I have ever served in
I have tried hard to develop a children's choir.
Some places had success stories to tell, others not so much.
80% of people who sing in choirs as an adult
sang in a choir as a child.
This is a music ministry no-brainer.
After 30 years,
I am graced by God to see and experience this statistic first-hand.

. . .and children are so free.
I love working with adults,
but adults always have an opinion. .
. . it's too fast, too slow, too high, too low,
it's a boring song, I don't like that song,
the other song was better, why do we have to learn this song. . .
Children just sing.
Children make you laugh.
And when they get it, when they really get,
the children will make you cry.

Even more,
I am a child of the 80%.
I sang in the children's choir once upon a time.
Who would have thought that a gazillion years later,
I would be living out the statistic
that I so often quote to others . .
 . . in more ways than one. . .

In the end,
I know that I am not just leading music
for Sunday to Sunday.
I am doing something
that will create the musician
who will one day replace me.
That director will come from the children.
80% of people who sing in choirs as adults
sang in a choir as a child.
And one of those children will actually grow up
to be the parish's music director.

Yes
the children are the most significant part
of my music ministry. . .

. . .another thought about things significant. .  .

Music in general.
A musician takes years to make.
And just being a musician
doesn't necessarily make one a Pastoral Musician.
Still,
it takes years to make a musician.

In recent years,
I've dedicated a part of myself
to help create musicians,
more specifically, pianists.

I teach at both
COMPAS - Center of Music and Performing Arts Southwest
and
Garage Cultural - Center of Music and Visual Arts.
And more recently,
offering lessons in my home studio.

While neither of these schools are on
an ecclesial acre of land,
I do consider it a part of my mission and ministry.
In fact,
some of my students have been my own choir members,
one of which will be a soloists during the children's portion
of Saturday's program.

But again. . .
it goes back to the mission
of creating the musician who will one day replace me.

I guess what I'm trying to say
is that it's not enough to know
that 80% of people who sing in the choir as adult
sang in a choir as a child.
It's not enough to form a children's choir,
to form the children in the music ministry.
I think it is also necessary
to form that young musician,
who,
in time,
will be formed as a Pastoral Musician.

. . .while my ministry has had her ups and downs,
her fun pastors to work with
and her not so fun pastors to work with,
I wouldn't change it for the world.
I am a Pastoral Musician.
This is my Vocation.

. . and that vocation continues to grow and evolve
even after 30 years. . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

about the photo:
the musically talented hands of one of my piano students!

The Cherubs, The Dancers, The Children, The Mariachi, and Summer Camp

I have been so busy lately.
I know I haven’t finished
writing all of The Road to Juquila blog entries.
I still have some thoughts about that trip:
about holy water;
about Our Lady’s mantle;
the story of Juquila.
And I promise to post all of that
as soon as possible.

But I really have been so-o-o busy.

February saw me working like a mad woman
on a proposal of sorts.
I don’t want to write to much about that here.
I only mean to say
that I did a lot writing
and a lot of soul searching.
Whether or not the grant money will arrive
is really only the half of it.
I learned so much from the process.
I needed to write
a personal mission statement
and vision statement.
One can learn a lot about self
in just such a process.
It was a time consuming process,
a draining process.
But mostly,
it was a selving process.

I continue to work at COMPAS
(Center of Music and Performing Arts Southwest).
To tell the truth,
I am finding that I love this job more and more.
I had two new piano students yesterday.
I think this puts me at 21 piano students now.
To tell the truth,
I’ve lost count!
And that just confirms for me
what I truly believe the Holy Spirit is calling me to.

You see,
I’ve been working in the music ministry
for well over 20 years. . . .about 28 years.
And I’ve led adult choirs,
children’s choirs, women’s choir.
I’ve worked with flutists, guitarists,
other organists and pianists.
I’ve worked with cellists, violinists,
bag pipers and trumpet players.
I’ve worked with cantors and soloists.
I’ve coordinated and collaborated
with various Mariachi groups.

But, somehow,
I feel this push,
this nudge.
It’s not just about planning and preparing
the music for liturgy anymore.
Oh, I love that
and will continue to do that forever, I do believe.
But I find I’m being called
to do more than that.

I find that I am being called
to create the musician today
that will become
the pastoral musician tomorrow.

One of my piano students
is a member of St. Gabriel’s children choir,
another child from the choir
is a voice student.

Two of my piano students,
sisters,
attend the evening mass
and often ask me about the songs from last Sunday,
what chords I used,
who cantored the psalm, etc.

Another of my piano students,
a gentleman
(whose daughter is also my student)
states that the only reason he wants to learn
is so that he can one day
lead the music at church.

One of my piano students
is a guitarist that works with me
in the music ministry at St. Gabriel’s.

The youth mariachi at COMPAS
is taught by Mr. Newhouse.
I often go downstairs
and just spend time with these wonderful young people.
I’ve sang with them a couple of times,
just for fun.
These young musicians
are currently working on a mass setting.
Mr. Newhouse and I
are presently visioning
how we can bring these young musicians
to church,
a mass where youth mariachi are the musicians
and the children’s choir
lead the singing.
It’s still all just an idea.
But at least we are planning and discussing
and putting it out there!

But even more,
a few members of the choir at St. Gabriel
are starting to ask me questions
about a lot more than the songs for liturgy.
A few of them
asked me for a keyboard chord chart.
Others are asking me,
not only how to play or sing a scale,
but how to create and form it,
about how to find the chords
that go with the scale.
When I explained the circle of fifths,
a light bulb went on
for one of the guitarists.

Yes,
I truly feel called,
to not only plan and prepare the music for worship,
but to also help create the musician
that will lead that music tomorrow.
And to create the opportunity,
especially for young people,
to lead the music themselves
every once in a while.

This is not at all to say
that I feel any less called
to a good old fashioned
pastoral music ministry.
On the contrary,
I vision much for St. Gabriel parish.

The children’s choir is doing fine,
though I still believe
that she could be twice the size
that she currently is.
Honestly,
I think 45 members
is optimum for a children’s choir,
for a variety of reasons,
which I won’t detail here.
But my point is,
while the children’s choir is holding its own,
there is much room for growth.

I am also increasingly aware
that there needs to be
a youth/teen music ministry in place.
I know the pastor has been visioning
and working on this,
but, I too, begin to see the future.
There must be place
for the children to grow into with their music
after they leave the children’s choir.
And I am increasingly aware
that this youth/teen music ministry
must be something that reflects teen culture,
not just the same old church stuff.

I also being to see
where a Cherub Choir needs to form,
a place where children ages 3-6
can begin their life of music ministry.
I haven’t mentioned this to the pastor yet,
but I’d like to flesh this idea out a bit
and perhaps start just such a program
by Sept. 2010.

And I have this idea,
an idea that has been with me
for many, many years,
long before coming to St. Gabriel,
about holding
a children’s music ministry summer camp.
I have been VERY impressed
by the Vacation Bible School at St. Gabriel.
And I begin to realize
that I am walking on the holy ground
where this music summer camp
may be able to take life.

I envision this being
time dedicated to a specific musical element,
the psalms, for example.
Or perhaps mass settings.

I envision this to include much more
than just the hum drum vocal exercises,
but to include
how music can be found all around us:
in the siren of the fire engine,
in the meow of a cat,
in the doorbell.

I envision this music summer camp
closing with a concert,
featuring new music learned.
But also closing with a challenge for these children:
What are you going to do
with the knowledge gained?
How are you going to make music better
for your church?
I envision not only teaching music,
but teaching that what we have received as a gift
we must give as a gift.

And then there is the parish dance troupe.
Yes,
I said dance troupe.
St. Gabriel has a Mexican Folkloric Ballet.
A wonderful group of young people
who make it their mission
to learn and preserve this wonderful art.
A number of churches in southwest Detroit
have dance groups,
but none of them,
to my knowledge,
are incorporating these talented youth
into liturgical celebrations.

Now,
I know the liturgical police
will probably place me under arrest
for even suggesting this.
So be it.
But I really would LOVE to see
these kids dance. . .
While we sing the Gloria. . .
While we sing Santo, Santo, Santo. . . .
Oh, what beautiful movements of praise
can be made!

. . . .and what if. . . .
What if. . .
What if the youth mariachi from COMPAS
served as musicians
and what if the children’s choir leads the singing. . .
And what if the folkloric ballet dances. . .
Wow!!!!

Oh, yes!
I am definitely being called,
being pushed and pulled
into something more. . . .

The Cherubs,
The Dancers,
The Children,
The Mariachi,
and Summer Camp. . .
If I could just get all of this stuff out of my head
and into reality. . . .

I realize that a lot of what I suggest here
will require funding,
which probably doesn’t exist right now.
But I’m game for looking for the money.
Writing this all out
on to electronic parchment
at least puts the ideas out there.
Goals and objectives can be written later.
Volunteers can be sought when the time comes.
For right now,
it’s just getting the ideas out of Rubi’s Head.
Once in better shape,
we (yes, I said “we”)
can look for funding.

The Cherubs,
The Dancers,
The Children,
The Mariachi,
and Summer Camp. . .

. . .yeah,
I’ve gone mad.
That will be my excuse
when the liturgical police
come to place me under arrest. . . .

My Ensoniq

Musicians have an attachment to their instruments.
Whether or not that is healthy,
I cannot say.
But we do.
We become so very attached to the instrument we serve with.

I am no different.
I have a particular love for my Ensoniq.
She’s not your everyday keyboard.
She is the Rolls Royce of keyboards.

You can lay tracks.
I can play the piano, and then layer over that. . .
. . .with bass, with guitar, with whatever instrument
I think may be needed.
But it’s really all the keyboard.
All of the instruments are in her memory.
Would I ever decide to do studio work,
the main bulk of the work would be, could be
done at home on this instrument.

She is midi.
I can play and then play back on computer.
I can print the music
to that which was just played.

She has an idea pad
where I can store bits and pieces
of musical information
while a new piece is being composed.

She has a transposer.

I could write and write and write.
She has all the bells whistles.

I must say that it is her “Perfect Piano”
that made me fall in love with her at the music store.
It was such a rich sound,
such rich sounding bass notes. . . . .
I was sold.
That “Perfect Piano”
is the sound for which Ensoniq
gained her infamy.

But you see,
I didn’t buy her.
Purchase of this instrument
was a group effort.

I belong to a group called
“Cántico de la Mujer Latina.”
We originally formed to do a one-time event
for the National Association of Pastoral Musicians.
The NPM came to Michigan
for a regional convention in Grand Rapids.
Virgil Funk called me
and asked me to do something “hispanic.”
So,
I formed this group of Latinas
for a “Tarde de Alabanza”
(an afternoon of praise)
which featured music, poetry and theology readings
all written by Latina composers, poets and theologians.
It was to be a one time deal.
We’d rehearse,
do the event and that would be that.

However,
after that event,
we were flooded with calls to take our program
to this place,
to that place. . .
. . .could we serve for this mass. . .
For this women’s retreat. . . etc., etc., etc.
Some 12 years later,
Cántico del la Mujer Latina is standing strong.

Anyway,
Cántico purchased this instrument,
the Ensoniq keyboard.
One of our members gave a rather large donation.
The rest of the funds were raised
by concerts, selling holy cards, etc.
The group purchased this instrument.

A group of my very best friends
worked hard
so that I could have a keyboard
that we could serve with as a group.
A group of women
are so dedicated to their ministry
that they decided to raise funds
and purchase
that which was necessary.
And that which was purchased
was left in my care.

At the time of purchase,
the instrument alone
cost us about $3,500.00.
Add the Roland amp,
the keyboard stand. . .and. . .
well you get the idea.
This was a huge undertaking
by some women who serve
in the inner city.

The keyboard recently suffered some damage
and I have been absolutely beside myself.

The damage was done
at the hands of someone
who doesn’t even know me
and who had no authorization to move my instrument,
which he did in an absolutely abusive manner.

But I have been absolutely beside myself.
Why do I cry over a seemingly inanimate object?

After crying and reflecting on this for several days,
actually,
for about two and a half weeks,
I can only liken it to my house.
I purchased a new home about 51/2 years ago.

I recall being at the old house
on the day the water guy was to come
and take the last meter reading.
It would be the last day
I would ever be in that old house.
The house was way too small for my 3 sons.
And it housed memories of a failed marriage.

But that old house
also housed Christmas memories,
tooth fairy memories,
memories of my son’s friends spending the night. . . .
I cried and stayed in the house
long after the meter reader left.

We had already purchased
and moved into the new home
several months earlier.
It took awhile
for us to sell this old house.
And yet,
after the meter reader left,
I sat there, on the floor,
for quite some time
as there was no furniture
in this old house,
and I cried.

I love my home in Wyandotte
and have nothing but praise
for the city and my neighbors.
But every time I drive by the old house,
especially now that the new owners
have been foreclosed upon,
well, I must admit a little tear wells up.
There are memories
attached to that old house
that helped to form
the person that I am today.

It is no different with my keyboard.
I have memories attached to her.
These memories have helped to form
the pastoral musician I am today.
What memory
(besides the electronic one)
does this keyboard have?

As already mentioned,
purchase of her was a group effort.
And so,
this instrument will always hold memories for me
of those very special women
so dedicated to this purchase,
so dedicated to our very creative ministry.

She has been there with us
through many a concert.
She accompanied us
when we sang the Divine Mercy.

She has been present
for many a wedding, funeral,
and Quinceañera,
not to mention regular weekend liturgies.

She was there when my sister and I
were “dueling keyboards,”
she on the baby grand
and me on the Ensoniq,
at the parish where she serves
for a Día Doce mass
that I will never forget.
(Yeah, both my sister and my brother
are pastoral musicians!)

The Ensoniq has accompanied such groups
as
Les Petits Chanteur,
a boy’s choir from France;
and
Cantores Minores,
a boy’s choir from Poland

She has accompanied
Marambistas Fantasticos,
a youth marimba ensemble
from Chicago.

She prepared us for many out of town events. . .
. . .North Park University in Chicago. . .
. . . .Southwest Liturgical Conference in Albuquerque. . . .
. . . Basilica of Our of Guadalupe in Mexico City. . .

You see,
I do have memories attached to this instrument.
It is very much alive to me,
and not just alive with song.
I don’t know that this would make sense
to anyone
unless you are a pastoral musician.
But so be it.
I have an attachment to her.
And right now,
she is not feeling so well.

You see,
someone moved her
by grabbing her from the buttons and knobs
an then
proceeded to drag her,
totally unaware
that she was being moved
without her stand. . .
had I not stopped him
the instrument would have ended up on the floor. .
. . .he was totally unaware
that the amp she was connected to
was connected to a few other instruments as well.

She now jumps from sound to sound.
She will always start off
with her Perfect Piano,
but then quickly jumps
through her other assortment of instruments.
These instruments should not make their presence known
unless and until I invite them.
But,
since being moved so abruptly,
they are making their presence known,
and in no logical order,
and in no particular time frame.
The “C” just above middle c
is also way out of wack,
much louder than all of the keys,
regardless of which instrument
sneaks in.

It is not that easy
to find a repair person
for Ensoniqs.
The problem is
that Ensoniq went under a few years ago.
It’s very hard to get replacements parts
for this particular instrument.
What ends up happening
is that old keyboards
become “organ donors” for
instruments still in use.

I did finally find
someone
who is about hours drive away
who can take a look at it.

The problem I see now
is financing this repair project.
I don’t think I should have to pay this repair bill.
I really don’t.
And I have sent a letter to that end.

It appears as though
the cost of repair may be covered.
So now,
we play the
“wait and see” game.
I take her to the tech tomorrow morning.
We must wait and see
what the technician tells us
about her condition.
And then,
we wait and see if the cost will, in fact, be covered.

You know,
it’s like watching an old friend die.
It’s like,
there may be a cure,
but the illness may just be too far advanced.

Yeah. . .
It’s like driving by my old house. . .
I sold it to a nice young family.
But now the house is empty. . .
. . .foreclosed. . .overgrown grass, etc.
Not exactly what I would have hoped
for that old gal. . . .

I don’t know how much damage was done
to the keyboard.
It may be a lot
or just something very small,
something very easy to fix.

But you know,
I have been fearing the worst.

I guess all electronic instruments
will die sooner or later.
But you know,
it would have been much easier
to watch her die of natural causes.
The irony is
that my instrument nearly died
at the hands
of someone who claims to be pro-life.

I did not volunteer countless rehearsal hours
to be prepared for an event
only to have my instrument damaged
by someone I don’t even know.

And even though
there are many who are supporting me
through all of this,
many who understand what I feel here,
the person who damaged my instrument
has yet to offer an apology.
And you know,
I really don’t think he ever will.
And to tell the truth,
I think that hurts me just as much.

My friend, Marcy,
always reminds me
that everything happens for reason.
I’m still praying
to see what the reason is,
what the lesson is for me in all of this.

You know,
I ended up in an urgent care facility recently.
I wonder what connection,
if any,
this has to do with my ailing keyboard. . . .

They say pets imitate and resemble their owners.
I wonder. . . .
Do pastoral musicians
resemble their musical instruments???

Compás Center for the Performing Arts

It’s been quite a while
Since I posted something of substance to this blog.
There are a lot of reasons for that,
But I won’t go into that right now.
For now,
I want to tell you about
Another decision I made recently.

About a week ago,
An old friend of mine came to mass.
I’ve known Ismael for years.
He used to work as the pastoral musician
At Detroit’s Holy Redeemer.

While I was yet at Ste. Anne,
He and I worked together with Dr. Norah Duncan, IV
To present Ariel Ramirez’ Misa Criolla.
. . and then there was the mobile music school
of the MOSES organization. . .
the Detroit Youth Symphony in the plaza. . .
. . .most recently Ismael helped to bring
the DSO youth to Detroit’s Cinco de Mayo Fiesta,
an event I’m so involved which each year. . .
yeah, Ismael and I go way back. . . .

He spent some time in Chile
(his native land)
and then returned to Detroit.
He quickly landed a job
As the Director of Compás Center for the Performing Arts.

I’ve seen Compás.
I drive by there all the time.
I’m sadden to say,
That until last week
I never ventured into the building.

Anyhow,
Ismael came to see me.
He said he needed a piano instructor
For the summer program.
I don’t know what happened
To the instructor he had lined up.

I said I’d think about it.
Although I had thought about teaching,
I wasn’t sure that I was quite ready.
But you know,
When The Call comes,
Most of us aren’t.
And I do consider my musicianship
A Calling.
God gave me a mother
Who instilled in me a love for music
And she made sure I went to the Conservatory
Every week. . . even on summer vacation. . .
I consider myself Graced. . .
. . .also called by that same Grace
to share the gift of music. . .
But now???
At Compás???
Couldn’t it wait until the fall???
Yeah. . . .
. . .we always make excuses, don’t we?

The very least I could do
Is spend some time with an old friend
And see the center.
I had a meeting with Ismael over at Compás.
That building is amazing!
One would never guess such an amazing center
For the performing arts was right there
In the heart of SW Detroit.
A dance hall with mirrors and ballet bars,
Guitars, keyboards,
Concert hall. . . you name, they have it!

Once I saw all of the photos of inner city youth
All around that building,
I had no other alternative but to say, “yes.”

So, beginning tomorrow
(on Tuesday and Thursdays)
I will be teaching the piano/keyboard classes
At Compás Center for the Performing Arts.

Now,
Why would I write about this in a Liturgy blog?
Because Liturgy is Life
And Life is Liturgy.

Oh,
I know Liturgy with a capital “L”
Is the public worship of the Church.
But liturgy with a small “l”
Is the stuff of our daily lives
That helps to build up church.
Sometimes the call to serve
Comes from places
other than on the church grounds.

Liturgy, as we all know,
Is the work of the people.
But it’s not just any work.
It’s a work done with the people,
For the people,
To build up the people and the community.
It’s a work
To make the community better.

I can sing my heart out on Sunday.
I can rehearse choirs.
But if I am not creating
The pastoral musician
Who will one day replace me
I am not doing the work
God commissioned me to do.

At mass last Thursday
I asked some of the members
Of the children’s choir
If they were taking any classes at Compás.
Many were.
I told them that I was going to be teaching.
It wasn’t hard to find new recruits!
Sunday morning I was passing out brochures
To the families that were interested.

So,
The classes may not be in church
Or on church grounds
Or have anything to do with the parish. .
.. . but really, it does.
It affects and effects
The children of the community.
That, my friends,
Makes it liturgy with a small “l,”
Which can only serve to build
Liturgy with a capital “L.”

Life is a Liturgy.
And I am just delighted
That our good and gracious God
Is finding more and more ways
For me to serve in the inner city.
It is life giving beyond measure.

Check it Out:
Compás Center for the Performing Arts

The Cluster Monster

I attended
our parish worship commission meeting last night.
There was a bit of tension during the meeting
As we discussed various topics.

But in all honesty,
I created some of that tension
With my brutal honesty.

You see,
I have made some decisions in recent months
In regards to my ministry.
And some of those decisions
Were already out in the open.
Some of those decisions
I had already discussed with the pastor.

But the last decision,
Well, let’s just say
I spilled the beans
at the worship meeting last night.

I won’t detail those decisions
Here on the blog
As those are topics best held in another forum,
Specifically, the parish setting.

But I think it is most appropriate
To share in this blog
One of the “whys” of my decision.
And I think it is appropriate
Because there may be other pastoral musicians
Who now find themselves
In the same situation that I do.

One of the reasons for the decisions I have made
Is greatly influenced
by this monster named “Clustering.”
In all honesty,
I think this is nothing more than semantics,
Nothing more than the ecclesial vocabulary for “Downsizing.”

In my opinion
Clustering is only a stop gap,
Something that will only delay dealing
With the inevitable problem:
The Clergy Shortage.
And in fact,
I believe that we are committing
A sarcedotal genocide
By giving these good men
Two or more parishes,
Which only increases stress levels,
That, in turn,
Leads to all sorts of health issues.

I have more views on clustering,
But I’ll stop with that one.
Whether or not I like it,
The Cluster Monster (see image above)

is visiting our churches.
And, somehow,
We must find a way to deal with it
All the while keeping the faith.

As a pastoral musician,
I find that I must find a way
To remain standing and active in ministry,
Regardless of who gets clustered with whom,
Regardless of which parishes close.

Jeanne Cotter,
Perhaps the greatest and best liturgical pianist
Of our time,
Once said,
“Sing as if your life depended on it.”
And for those who are musicians she said,
“Play as if your life depended on it.”
What wisdom.
For the fact is,
If you are truly a pastoral musician
Those words ring true.

But lately,
It gets harder to sing the song
With all the uncertainty of clustering.

Will the mass I sing for
Still be a part of the parish schedule?

Will the parish I serve in
Remain opened, or will it be closed?

Will I be singing in a different church,
A cluster partner church,
One year from now?

Will I be singing with the same choir
Or a different choir?

Will I be accompanying on the same piano?
An electronic piano?
A pipe organ?
An electronic organ?

Will I be singing from the same hymnal
Or a different hymnal?

Will I be preparing worship aids each week?
Or will I be preparing LCD projected hymns????

From the beginning,
I did not like the clustering process.
But in as much as it is a struggle we share,
I respected the struggle and the processes thereof.
After all, there is growth in struggle.
However, the process has not respected us.

Originally,
St. Helena in Wyandotte was our cluster partner.
The pastor was then assigned to St. Stan’s in Wyandotte
and the cluster shifted.
We lost our original dancing partner.
St. Helena was now to cluster with St. Stan’s
But rather than formally cluster with her new partner,
St. Helena was subsequently closed.
Yes, closed.

In all honesty,
This scared me.
But more on the illogical process of clustering. . .

Our current cluster partners are
St. Francis Xavier in Ecorse
And Our Lady of Lourdes in River Rouge.
However,
that process took a back seat as Fr. Charles
(Pastor, St. Elizabeth in Wyandotte)
is now involved with yet another cluster,
St. Patrick and St. Joseph, both in Wyandotte.
While we have respected the cluster process
With St. Francis and Lourdes
(joint religious ed, pulpit exchanges, parish directory, etc.)
The cluster process is not respecting us.

Five parishes are now dancing together
And least two of them are sharing a partner
(oops, I mean pastor!)

As one employed by the Roman Catholic Church,
I find myself asking the question,
“Where will I be when the process is completed?”
That is a very tough question to answer
When the rules of the game keep changing.

Many in the United States
Are worried about employment,
Have already lost employment,
Are struggling financially.

Serving as Pastoral Musician
Is not only my ministry,
It is my livelihood.
In this sense,
Clustering is a real life issue for me.

My sincerest apologies
To those who may have felt some tension
At last night’s meeting
Because of what I shared.
But I would rather be brutally honest
Than leave folks second guessing
Because that only leads to gossip
And untruths being spread.

And my apologies if my sarcasm offends you.

But I have always likened myself to the cactus,

standing tall, sometimes flowering,

with just enough pointy edges for protection.

(probably an image I picked up in my youth,

being the daughter of mexican immigrants and all. . .)

Anyway, The Fact is that
The Cluster Monster
Is not a fictional character.
He’s real, folks.
And he’s hiding under the pew.
I know.
I’ve been staring him in the face.

I thank God
For the many blessings I have received in my ministry.

And I remain ever grateful to the angel
Who teaches me to be proactive.

St. Cecilia, pray for us.
St. Helena, Pray For Us.
St. Stanilaus Kostka, Pray For Us.
St. Patrick, Pray For Us.
St. Joseph, Pray For Us.
St. Elizabeth of Hungary, Pray For Us.
St. Francis Xavier, Pray For Us.

Our Lady of Lourdes, Pray For Us.