We Pray To the Lord - Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

I do believe that this will be
my last blog entry
in the series on Bipolar Disorder.
I started it quite some time ago
and then never finished up.
But the death of Robin Williams
really shook me up,
more that the readers of this blog
could possibly understand.

I've read and seen so much online
about so many that are so unforgiving
of this wonderful man,
a man who did so much good
and worked so hard
at making people laugh,
bringing joy to folks around the world.
I've read about what people have said
about drugs and alcohol,
yet have read nothing
about dual diagnosis Bipolar Disorder.
Yes, I've read terrible write-ups by people
who haven't got a clue.

And then,
I read about those who would make plans
to picket his funeral.
you know,
that really gets my goat.
It doesn't matter who died.
When there is a death
there are people who will mourn
and they need to be afforded
that time to mourn.
Don't ever take your picket signs
to any funeral.
Don't ever turn a family's day of mourning
into your moment to carry a picket sign.

And then there are those Christian folk
would condemn Robin Williams
because he took his own.
Ironically,
it's usually those who think
that they are already evangelized
that need the most evangelization.

In a previous blog entry
one of the suggestions I made
was to learn more about Bipolar Disorder.
If we learned more about Bipolar Disorder
we wouldn't be condemning a man
that brought joy and laughter into this world
and we certainly would even entertain the thought
of taking pickets signs to his funeral.

Do take the time
to learn more about Bipolar Disorder.
It could make the difference
between the life and death
of someone you love.
Trust me.

You can learn more about Bipolar Disorder
by visiting the following websites.

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

The Balanced Mind Foundation
Family resources for kids with mood disorders

Bipolar World

Pendulum
A resource for Bipolar and Depression


For Robin Williams,
for all who take their own lives;
We Pray To The Lord.

**********

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

* Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

We Pray To The Lord - Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Here I am
still feeling the loss of the great Robin Williams.
But how many suicides
by people with Bipolar Disorder
are mourned on such a global level?
With this blog entry
I share some ways
you can help the person with Bipolar Disorder.
Please,
do one of them.
Do all of them.
But do something,
please. . . .

*Learn About Bipolar Disorder
Read. Read. Read. Look up information online. Go to the library. Learn what the symptoms of bipolar are and what some of the treatments are. And learn about the side effects medications. Sometimes the side effects are not worth it. We learned this the hard way.

* Listen
Ok. I just said this in a previous blog entry, but it bears repeating.  Listen and listen well. If you don’t have Bipolar Disorder yourself, you really don’t know what the person is going through. Listen.

*Ask The Person With Bipolar Disorder What You Can Do For Them.
Simple tasks can become overwhelming. They might need your help with seemingly simple things like washing the dishes, doing the laundry, or writing a check to pay a bill.  Or just sit and watch a movie on tv could be all they need. Simple, right? Just ask them. This could be all they need at the moment.

* Keep A Journal Of Sorts
Track the symptoms. You will soon start to notice changes and know that an up or a down is coming. Learning these things can make a difference in what treatment the doctor gives.  You don’t need to spy into a person’s life, but if you are close enough to the person you will notice changes.  And when you notice changes you will also begin to know when is the right time to offer your help.

* Find The Right Doctor
Again, I said this in a pervious blog post in this series, but it so bears repeating. Find the right doctor. Find the doctor who will listen and help develop a treatment plan that works. As I said in one of the previous blog posts, we spend more time in this country shopping for a used car than we do for a doctor. If your doctor isn’t doing the job, if your doctor isn't taking the time to answer your questions and listen to your concerns,  fire him and find one who will.

* Stick With The Treatment Plan
When things go well the person with Bipolar Disorder may get a sense of “I’m all better now,” and decide to forego meds. Not a good idea. While it may be true that it may take some time to find the right medication it is important to stick to the treatment plan to make sure all is well. Make sure they see their doctor regularly. And it is also important to know that some medications may take several weeks before they begin to help. It’s easy to get frustrated and think, “this medication isn’t working.” Or once the medication system is in place and all is going well, “I don’t need these meds anymore.” Stick with the treatment plan. Change it if you must, but under a doctor’s supervision.

* Be Truthful With The Doctors And Ask A Myriad Of Questions
That’s what the doctor is there for. Be honest if you think the medication isn’t working or if you see some side effects. (Of course, talk to your loved one about this before the actual doctor visit.) The truth is, some of the Bipolar Meds carry some hefty side effects.  Are the side effects worth it? Ask questions. And then, ask more questions. Write things down. Write things down before you visit the doctor so you don’t forget. And then, write down the things the doctor said so you don’t forget.

* When Things Are Going Well For The Person With Bipolar Disorder Make A Plan Of Action For When Things Aren't Going So Well.
What will you do if the person with Bipolar Disorder is very depressed, maybe suicidal? What is the plan of action? Will you stay with that person until the episode is over? Will you take that person to an emergency room? Will you contact the doctor or family members? Work out a plan of action together. The person with Bipolar must be a part of developing the plan, but don’t make the plan when they are experiencing the downward spiral.

* Pray
But don’t just pray in the solitude of your bedroom with closed door.  Ask for prayers from your local prayer group.  Ask for the sacrament of the sick. And if the person with Bipolar Disorder already had the sacrament least year, ask for it again. And pray with the person. Words have power. I’ve said that often enough in this blog as well. And when those words are connected to prayer, well, the power is infinite. Pray.  And don't just pray for the person with  Bipolar Disorder. Don't just pray for their doctors. Pray that you may learn how to help. Pray that you can help educate others. Pray for people who judge others for having committed suicide. Pray for those who have committed suicide. Pray for family and friends of those who committed suicide.  A rampage of prayer. . . .please.  .  .

That we become help and support
to those with Bipolar Disorder,
We Pray To the Lord.

* * * * * *

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

* Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

We Pray to the Lord - Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

After the death of Robin Williams
I realize that I have still have a few blog entries
related to Bipolar Disorder
just waiting to get published on my pc.

I haven't blogged much here at liturgy house lately,
and now,
well, now I'm pushed to finish this Bipolar series.

It angers me when people say things like
"if you accept Jesus Christ. . . "
Acceptance of Jesus doesn't take away our life's struggles.
In fact,
I dare say it only increases them.
Those who carry the cross of Bipolar Disorder
carry something tremendous.
To say "if they only accept Jesus"
is like blaming them for their illness.
We wouldn't dare say the same
to someone with cancer,would we?
On the contrary,
would would pray with great fervor for them.

Why aren't we praying with fervor
for those with Bipolar Disorder?
Why?

Rest in God's sweet peace, Robin Williams.
At least now you are at peace.
Now you are in peace. . . .

People,
I beg you,
listen.
Listen well.

Listening is an art.
Learn to listen.
Learn to look and see.
Learn to feel
and listen well.
The art listening could be the difference
between life and death
for those living with Bipolar Disorder.

I love this video.
In a poetic way
the creator of this video
gives us a glimpse
into what it is like to have Bipolar Disorder.
And very briefly and swiftly
explains why those with Bipolar Disorder
are often confronting a dual diagnosis.

And this 2nd video,
well it just made me cry.
I love the music chosen,
"stay with me."
. . .such desperation in the text.
Listen, my friends,
and listen well.
Bipolar Disorder is very real.

That we learn to listen to and accompany those with Bipolar Disorder,
We pray to the Lord.

* * * * * *

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

* Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

Expectations as a Choir Director

The Buck Stops Here

Seriously,
when it comes to decisions about choir
and music ministry,
The Buck Stops Here.
Remember me?
I am The Choir Director.

Now,
I dabbled a bit in previous blog posts
about differing leadership styles.
More specifically,
about leadership styles
a choir director might have.

I tend to be a bit democratic in style.
I welcome suggestions from vocalists and musicians.
I welcome suggestions from the congregation
and most certainly from the pastor.
But in the end,
I make the decisions.
That’s just how it is.
It’s that way it is in the secular world
It’s that way it is in ecclesial life.
There’s always someone
who makes the decisions.

Again,
I’m a bit democratic.
If you don’t like a decision I’ve made,
do feel free to challenge me on it.
Ask me about my why I made it.
If you feel it infringes upon you as choir member,
do let me know.
I’m human, after all.
I may have overlooked a detail
about something.
Seriously,
I am approachable.

However,
I expect certain things from you as choir member
or as a musician accompanying the choir.

I expect you to attend rehearsals.
And if you cannot attend
I expect a phone call or email or facebook message
letting me know about your absence.
If you continue to be absent
you can expect
that I may just ask you to leave the group
until such time that you are able
to attend rehearsals.

I expect you to be prepared for mass.
I pass out any new music at rehearsal.
If you didn’t attend rehearsal
and didn’t call to let me know,
don’t expect me to have all your music
ready in order and waiting for you
for mass on Sunday.
As a choir member or musician,
I expect you to keep your music in order.

And I expect you to arrive early enough
so that you aren’t tuning your guitar
when the greeter is making the formal words of welcome
to the assembly gathered just before mass starts.
I expect you to sing/play the music as rehearsed.
(I expect no musical surprises at mass).

I expect respect for the other members of the group.
The person who plays maracas
is not more important than the person who plays tambourine.
The bass player is not more important
that the person who sings the psalm.
Remember 1 Corinthians 12???
This applies to music ministry as well.
Respect each other
because we need and complete each other.

If you would like to help out with the Children’s Choir
I most certainly would welcome that.
I do so need help with that ever changing group.
However,
I expect you to participate in the archdiocese’s
Protecting God’s Children Program.
Please don’t show up for children’s rehearsal or mass
and want to help if you haven’t completed this course,
or don’t at least have plans of taking this course
in the very near future.
I will be forced to ask you to leave.
I’m sorry if you feel this infringes upon you as a volunteer.
Decision makers, remember them?
Leaders in the Church have decided
that this course is necessary for maximum safety of our children.
And in all honesty,
I can’t say I disagree.
Yes, do come help with the children.
But be aware that as a choir director
I expect you take the Protecting God’s Children class.
That’s what I expect.

Sometimes the sound system works really great.
Other times, not so well.
I expect you to keep your eyes,
one on your music
and one on your director,
for cues regarding mics.
I may ask you to get closer to the mic
or to step away from the mic,
depending on how the sound is that day.
Be aware that the sound varies, also,
with the number of people in attendance.
When the church is full,
we need to eat the mic.
When there are less people
(like for daily mass)
we don’t need to be so close.
Sometimes it’s about the sound system.
Other times it’s about a full church.
And still other times,
it’s about appropriate use of the mic.
As a choir member,
I expect you to watch me
and watch for my cues,
regarding mics.

The same applies to musicians for the choir.
I expect you
to respect the fact
that I will decided
who is too loud
or not loud enough.
As musicians,
we accompany the choir.
We aren’t there for an overthrow.
Yes,
there will be times
when the musicians will do instrumental pieces,
or requinto style intros and interludes.
But if you don’t come to rehearsal,
don’t expect for me to ask you
to “requintear.”

If someone is going flat
(why this phenomenon
that singers go flat,
but rarely go sharp???)
I will give you a cue there as well.
Listen to the piano
as I tend to play an octave higher
to try and help get us back on pitch.
If I know who it is,
I will give that person a specific cue
to listen. . .
If you don’t know what I mean
when I say I will play an octave higher,
this means you haven’t been at rehearsal.
If you don’t know what my cue is
for “you’re the one who is flat, listen up,”
you haven’t been to rehearsal.
I expect to see you at rehearsal.
I expect you to follow my cues.

Yes,
watch my cues.
I decide tempo.
Period.
If the song is moving too slow or too fast,
I will decide that.
Again,
there are cues from your director
about tempo.
I expect you to pay attention.

I expect that all materials used
be put back into place when mass or rehearsal is over.
Anything less is showing a lack of respect
for your fellow choir members,
for the materials used for our ministry,
a lack of respect for me,
and a lack of pride and respect for the ministry itself.
I don’t want to be looking for the tambourine
only to find it hidden in a satchel at the far end of the closet.
And if the tambourine is not the instrument you play
I expect for you not to touch it all.
Period.      

And let me go on a bit of tangent here
and say that most of those hand-held percussion instruments
are owned by yours truly.
Some instruments were purchased here
at local music stores.
But many of these instruments I purchased south of the border
(the maracas, the guiro, the teponaztle).
I brought them in
because I thought use of them
could help enhance the music ministry.
As such,
I grow particularly angry
when they are not put in the proper place
or when they go missing entirely.
You can understand that, can’t you?
End of tangent.
          
OK, a quick summary:
-Come to rehearsal
-Inform me of absence
-Be prepared
-Be respectful
-Watch my cues
-Turn the volume down
-Step away from the mic
-And Quit Hiding The Tambourine!!!!!

In the end,
I guess a little friction, a little agitation
is always necessary.
It keeps us on our toes
(even me!!!)

End of Rubi’s Ramblings.

Eddie sings "Were You There"

I originally posted this video
to my "piano house" facebook page.
This is Eddie, our little terrier.
He is named after the dog on the tv show, Frasier,
because my sons all thought he looked like him.

Eddie has been with us for about 8 years now.
First living with my eldest sons,
and then with us.
Until last October,
Eddie never sang like this.
In recent weeks
I can't even walk toward the piano
to pick up a piece of music
without him getting comfortable
on his tiger pillows,
getting ready to sing.

He really doesn't like the video camera,
so I don't know if we'll be able to post more of his songs.
But if he allows it,
we'll have more of Eddie, The Liturgical Terrier!

I present, Eddie!
(yours truly at the baby grand!)

We Pray to the Lord - Part 5 - For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types of Bipolar Disorder

Hopefully,
in the previous blog entries
you’ve come to understand a little bit
about Bipolar Disorder.

Unfortunately,
Bipolar Disorder
is a VERY complicated illness.
One isn’t simply “Bipolar.”
In fact,
there are five different types
of Bipolar Disorder:
- Bipolar I
- Bipolar II
- Rapid Cycling Bipolar
- Mixed Bipolar
- Cyclothymia
Even Bipolar III is now being diagnosed.

In our household,
we have had to live with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder.

This video gives a brief
yet informative description
of the various types
of Bipolar Disorder.

Hopefully,
by now,
you begin to understand
why in a previous blog entry
I said that if your doctor
isn’t helping you should fire them
and find a doctor who truly cares,
who truly helps.
As I keep stating,
Bipolar Disorder
is a VERY complicated and serious illness.



For those who life with Bipolar Disorder,
We Pray to The Lord.

For a better understanding of Bipolar Disorder,
We Pray to the Lord.

* * * * * *

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

* Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

We Pray to the Lord - Part 4: To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

I love this video.
It shows us many famous people
who have,
or may have had Bipolar Disorder.

There is hope.
One of the things I have ALWAYS said
is that Bipolar Disorder
brings out extreme creativity.
The challenge
is to use that creativity
in ways that are productive.

I am inspired by this video.
It shows us that what we once saw as curse,
Bipolar Disorder,
can actually be gift
we if learn to channel that energy.

And isn’t that the challenge
in any of life’s struggle?
The challenge
is always
in learning how to b3 blessed in the struggle.

For those who struggle with Bipolar Disorder,
We pray to the Lord.

God bless the struggle.

       

The people in the video:

00:10 President - Abraham Lincoln
00:17 Musician - Adam Ant
00:25 Actor - Ben Stiller
00:30 Actor - Burgess Meredith
00:34 Astronaut - Buzz Aldrin
00:44 Author - Charles Dickens
00:48 Nurse - Florence Nightingale
00:53 Director - Francis Ford Coppola
00:57 Boxer - Frank Bruno
01:02 Scientist - Isaac Newton
01:06 Actor - Jean Claude Van Damme
01:10 Musician - Jimi Hendrix
01:14 Actor - Linda Hamilton
01:19 Composer - Ludwig Van Beethoven
01:27 Prime Minister - Winston Churchill
01:32 Music Producer - Phil Spector
01:36 Director - Tim Burton
01:41 Actor - Richard Dreyfuss
01:46 Musician - Ray Davies
01:50 Model - Sophie Anderston
01:53 Musician - Sting
02:00 Musician - Kurt Cobain
02:04 Actor - Ned Beatty
02:14 Musician - Ozzy Osbourne
02:18 Actor - Jim Carey
02:22 Actor - Robert Downey, Jr.
02:28 Actor - Robin Williams
02:31 Actor - Spike Milligan
02:36 Actor - Stephen Fry
02:41 Artist - Vincent Van Gogh

* * * * * *

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

* Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

We Pray to the Lord - Part 3: For A Better Understanding of Medications Used to Treat Bipolar Disorder

Yes, I’m writing more about Bipolar Disorder in my Liturgy House blog. Liturgy is Life. Life is Liturgy. In my life recently, I’ve really really really been focused on The Prayers of The Faithful, the General Intercessions, as it were.

These are public prayers said at the formal, public liturgy of the Church and should reflect the needs of the community present. And these prayers demand a response, a real viable response. . . and I’m not just talkin, “Lord, here our prayer.” . . . “full, conscious, active participation,” remember that phrase?

I have come to know several people with Bipolar Disorder in recent years, one in particular, that have really helped me to become aware. . .aware of this invisible illness. . . .aware of what is still lacking in our understanding of this illness. . . .aware of how people avoid the subject of this disease. . . . aware of how our recited prayers are sometimes empty. . . .aware of how prayers of action are, at times, well,... nonexistent. . . .and so, I write more on the subject of Bipolar Disorder. This blog entry in particular will touch a little on the medications used to treat those with Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar Disorder (sometimes referred to as Manic Depression) is a real treatable illness that affects the brain.  It can’t be overcome by “snapping out of it.” Asking someone with Bipolar Disorder to “think positive” or to “just snap out of it”  is like asking someone with diabetes to change his or her blood sugar level by simply  thinking about it.

Bipolar Disorder is primarily a biological disorder that occurs in a specific area of the brain and is due to the dysfunction of certain neurotransmitters, or chemical messengers, in the brain. These chemicals may involve neurotransmitters like Serotonin and Norepinephrine.

Those who suffer with Bipolar Disorder are often prescribed Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). 

SSRIs block the reabsorption (reuptake) of the neurotransmitter Serotonin in the brain. Changing the balance of Serotonin seems to help brain cells send and receive chemical messages, which in turn, elevates mood. SSRIs are called “selective” because they target serotonin, not other neurotransmitters (Dopamine, Norepinephrine).

Sometimes, however, an SSNRI may be prescribed. As it sounds, SSNRIs target both Serotonin and Norepinephrine.

One of the things I have learned is that ADHD and Schizophrenia are in the same “family” of diseases.  DRIs, or Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitors, are often prescribed for those with ADHD or Schizophrenia.
       
Benzodiazepines may also be prescribed. Benzodiazepines, also known as anxiolytics,(antipanic or anti-anxiety agent) help to reduce anxiety. They are often used in the acute stage of a mania, a manic episode, to try and calm a person down, and they can be quite helpful.  People with Bipolar Disorder tend to have racing thoughts and the Benzodiazeprines tend to calm this. They also are used quite frequently in depression with comorbid anxiety to work on the anxiety piece of this disorder.  (Comoborid: the presence of one or more disorders in addition to a primary disease or disorder.)

As you can see, there is a lot to learn about Bipolar Disorder.  There are many pieces of the puzzle that must be put together. It is complicated and so misunderstood. There is so-o-o-o much to learn.

When someone learns they have diabetes or high blood pressure or heart disease they learn all the can about their illness. Bipolar Disorder is no different. When someone has diabetes or heart disease they change their lifestyle, eating habits and more to combat their illness. Bipolar Disorder is no different. Those who live with people with diabetes or high blood pressure often change their diets and lifestyles in support of their loved one. Bipolar Disorder is no different.  When someone has diabetes they check themselves and take necessary medication at specific times of the day. Bipolar Disorder is no different. In fact, those with Bipolar who take Lithium must check their blood regularly.

The big difference is the many myths and misunderstanding of what Bipolar Disorder is and what Bipolar Disorder isn’t. I pray that what I write in the upcoming days may help change that a bit. Because, really, those of us who live with Bipolar Disorder could really use your support.

So please, if someone you know has Bipolar Disorder, please please please don’t tell them to just “snap out if.” You would be way, way, way off the mark. And please, don’t tell them to stop taking their medications. You could be causing them a tremendous amount harm. As people of faith, I would think we would have more heart than that. The best thing you can do is get informed. And then, be a friend and be there.

Bipolar Disorder can take years to get diagnosed. And then it can take seemingly forever to find the right medication.

It would be nice to know that you are there along the way, offering your prayers, your support, your presence. Please, be there.

For those with Bipolar Disorder;
We Pray to The Lord.

For a better understanding of the medications
used to treat Bipolar Disorder;
We Pray to The Lord.

For doctors who treat those
with Bipolar Disorder;
We Pray to the Lord.

For family members living with those
who have Bipolar Disorder;
We Pray to the Lord.

* * * * * *

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

* Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

We Pray to the Lord - Part 2: For Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder.
In the past it was known as  manic-depressive illness.

More than a mood disorder,
it is actually a brain disorder
that causes shifts in mood,
shifts in energy and activity levels.
Sometimes it makes it next to impossible
to carry out normal daily life.

Mind you,
these are NOT the normal ups and downs
of day to day living.
Bipolar ups and downs are severe, extreme.

In the severe “Up” state
(the manic or hypo-manic state)
the person can manage on little sleep,
if they sleep at all.
They might do something like start putting laundry away,
then shift to cleaning out the closet. . .
. . and before you know it the whole bedroom is re-arranged,
cleaned from top to bottom. . .maybe even painted. . .
And all this happened when the rest of the house was asleep.
And morning comes,
with no sleep having been had,
but another day with other “projects” begins. . . .

Lack of sleep
may bring about
hypnagogic hallucinations,
which has her own set of problems.
Hypnagogic Hallucinations
is the hearing voices,
but this is due to lack of sleep.
It’s like dreaming while you are awake.
It’s like being half awake
and half asleep.
One hears what one would hear
while dreaming in the full sleep state.

In the manic state,
the person may be extremely chatty
and not quite able to understand
why everyone else is not as busy and productive as they are.
It’s often next to impossible
to interrupt the chattiness
as they have so much to say.
They have a hundred million different thoughts
racing through their head
and are trying to get them all out.
And they have a million projects
going on in their head as well.
They become busy and active
trying to accomplish everything
that is going on in their head.

And then there is the “down” state.
It can happen suddenly, quickly.
One moment the person is active, productive
doing all sorts of works and projects,
and quite literally a moment later
they take a 180 and are down. . .
depressed, sleeping.

The shifts in mood can last several days
or even weeks.
The shift can come with little or no warning at all.

Some with bipolar disorder
experience this 2 or 3 times a year.
Some cycle quickly,
in a matter of weeks.
Our household
has experienced
the Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar disorder
often develops in a person's late teens
or early adult years.
At least half of all cases start before age 25.
Some people have their first symptoms during childhood,
while others may develop symptoms late in life.

Bipolar disorder is not easy to spot when it starts.
The symptoms may seem like separate problems,
not recognized as parts of a larger problem.
Those around a person with Bipolar Disorder
might see the separate events
as occurring after some specific event,
the loss of a job, a relationship break-up,
death of a loved one. . .
and, therefore,
miss the mark.

Sometimes,
the events are not so major.
The person might fail to pay phone bill,
even though they have sufficient funds,
and the phone gets turned off.
Or they fail to put laundry away
and things around the house start to pile up.
The depression, the down side,
is so severe,
that these simple every day tasks
are seemingly impossible to do.

Seeing these events,
both the large and small events,
as separate events that might cause depression,
those around a person with Bipolar Disorder
fail to connect the dots.
And so,
many fail to see
that these are all bits and pieces
of a much larger puzzle.

And because of this
some people suffer for years
before they are properly diagnosed and treated.
Like diabetes or heart disease,
bipolar disorder is a long-term illness
that must be carefully managed
throughout a person's life.

And for goodness sake,
find the right doctor.
We spend more time shopping for a used car
than we do for a good doctor.
If your doctor isn’t answering your questions
or helping in the way you need,
fire him/her
and find a doctor who will.
Seriously,
fire your doctor.
This is too important
not to get the help that is needed.

In my next blog entry
I will discuss a bit
about how the medications work
and what exactly they are prescribed for.

For now, though,
you might glean a little something more
from this video.
It’s brief and very informative.

 
For a better understanding of Bipolar Disorder,
We Pray to the Lord.

For those with Bipolar Disorder,
We Pray to the Lord.

* * * * * *

Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

* Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

We Pray to the Lord - Part 1: For Those Who Are Ill

Please know
that I thought once, twice, thrice
and even more
about posting this.
It’s very personal
and very painful.
But you know,
sometimes we just know
that it’s time to make a move.
Sometimes
it’s just time to speak out.
Sometimes
it’s just plain time.

And with what’s going on in the media lately,
well,
I guess it really is just about time
that I quit holding on to these articles,
finish them up
and post them to my liturgy blog.

Liturgy is Life.
That is the premise of this blog.
Life needs to be a Liturgy.
If what we do and say at the Sacred Liturgy
doesn’t match what’s going in our lives,
well,
then something is wrong.

But sometimes things don’t match
because people are afraid to speak out,
afraid to speak up
and say that a problem
or a situation exists.

Because if a problem exists
the liturgy will get messy,
and in turn,
our lives and our ministries will get messy.
We will need to change
how we view certain things,
how we do certain things.

So be it.
SO BE IT.
Maybe the change is necessary.
At least it is for me.
And so,
after thinking and re-thinking this blog post
(and the subjects of the posts that will follow)
I write about my experience,
what I have learned.
And I hope
this will help someone somewhere.

And so,
I begin with The Holy Mass,
the Sacred Liturgy itself.
I spend so much time there.
I attend or serve as a musician
for 2 or 3 parishes each week.

At most masses
during The Prayers of The Faithful
we tend to remember those who are ill.
Sometimes
we mention people by name
because they are in special need of God’s healing power.
And sometimes
the mass is specifically scheduled
for those who are ill
to receive the sacrament of anointing.

But what do we mean when we pray,
“for those who are ill, we pray to the Lord??”
It’s a good prayer,
and one that needs to be prayed.

. . .but sometimes I wonder
if we are just handing our needs over to God
and saying, “Daddy, fix this.”
Sometimes we have no alternative.
Sometimes only The Merciful One can heal.

But sometimes, I think,
we just don’t want to deal with things ourselves.
Sometimes, even,
we utter the words
so that we won’t have to do anything more.

Even more,
we make ourselves “busy” in prayer
with rosaries and novenas
so that it will look like
we are doing something about the situation.

Now,
don’t get me wrong.
I believe the prayers at mass
are good and necessary.
I believe that rosaries, novenas
and other prayers
said at home or in private
have the utmost value.
And I am in no way stating
that we should stop the prayers
for those who are ill.

Remember,
this is the person
who oft has blogged about
the power of words spoken and written,
about The Power of The Word.

So please,
don’t get me wrong here.

But I must say I’m reminded of that hymn in Spanish,
Con Vosotros Esta. . . .

“Su nombre es el Señor y pasa hambre
Y clama por la boca del hambriento,
Y muchos que lo ven pasan de largo,
Acaso por llegar temprano al templo.”

(His name is the Lord and He is hungry
He calls to you from the mouths of the hungry
But many just pass him by
just so they can get to church early)
   
“Su nombre es el Señor y sed soporta
Y esta en quien de justicia esta sediento,
Y muchos que lo ven pasan de largo
A veces ocupados en sus rezos.”

(His name is the Lord and He is very thirsty
and He is all of those who thirst for justice
But many just pass Him by
too busy with their private prayers)

Sometimes we say the prayer
because it’s easier to take the time to pray
than to take the time and
going over and asking our neighbor
how we can help them
with the illness found in their household.

Let’s face it.
Sometimes saying the prayer with words
is easier
than being the prayer in action.

Let me say that again:
Sometimes saying the prayer with words
is easier
than being the prayer in action.

Am I making sense to anyone?
Or am I just venting?
Either way
I’ve got your attention.
Please read on.
Perhaps you’ll learn something.

In my extended family over the years
we’ve been challenged by asthma,
diabetes, chronic fatigue syndrom,
scleroderma, carpal tunnel
and ADHD.

There was even a time
where I, myself,
was hospitalized twice during the same year.
And the time
when I was walking with a cane,
which in the end turned out to be
a misdiagnosis.

My mother,
now in her eighties,
took a fall in the spring of last year
and had to have surgery
due to a broken shoulder.
Visits to the orthopedist
are now part of her regular medical care.

But none of the above
is what I intend to focus on in this blog
at this time. . .

. . there is one illness. . .
one illness that has forced me
to get educated. . .

. . .One illness
that has required much, much more from me
than a myriad of recited prayers,
though believe you me,
I’ve done more than my share.

Someone very close to me
was diagnosed
with Bipolar Disorder
in November of 2010.
At the time,
the diagnosis
came as a relief.
We finally understood
what was causing the problems.

Finding the right medication, however,
proved to be quite another cross to bear,
taking a year and a half
just to find the right meds,
meds that didn’t send things
into a further state of depression.
And we still aren’t quite there yet.
We’re close,
but not quite there yet with medication.

Still so much to learn,
so much to learn.

And while we are learning
and coping
the outside world continues,
the church continues to offer Her prayers,
for those who are ill.

But you know
I have never heard a prayer petition
in The Prayers of The Faithful
specifically asking for healing
for those with Bipolar Disorder,
though I have heard other illnesses mentioned.
I have NEVER heard a petition
for Bipolar Disorder.

And what’s more
few ask us about Bipolar
and how they can help.
At least two people
have asked me about aggressive behavior,
which I found to be so off the mark.
They obviously
don’t know or understand
Bipolar Disorder.

And so few ask
how they can help with Bipolar.

I think it may have a to do with
a fear of the unknown.
In all honesty,
I think it may have to do
with sheer ignorance.
People don’t ask
because they don’t know what to ask.
People don’t move from recited prayers
because they don’t know how.
People don’t move from recited prayers
because sometimes they just don’t want to.
To become the prayer, well,
that can get very messy.

It’s not an illness
that confines one to bed or hospital,
although at times it might.

It’s not an illness
that requires a cane or a wheelchair.

It’s not an illness
that requires IV therapy,
although at times it might.

In short,
bipolar disorder is not an illness
that one can see directly,
unless of course,
you are living with
or very close to a person with this disorder.
Bipolar Disorder
is an invisible disease.

But it is an illness
that requires much love and patience.
It requires persistence, perseverance
and insistence from medical personnel.

Bipolar Disorder
is an illness
that requires much time and attention
from those who care for those with this disorder.

And,
yes, my friends,
it surely requires prayer.
And, I might add,
prayers recited
and prayers of action.

I will write more about bipolar disorder
in the weeks to come.
I will about what it is
and what it isn’t.
I will write about ways
that you can help those with Bipolar Disorder,
and how to help those
who care for those Bipolar Disorder.   

My friend, Marcy,
always states
that everything happens for a reason.
Perhaps one of the reasons
our family has been called
to live with Bipolar Disorder
is to help educate others about it,
to help others through it.
And so,
in the days/weeks to come
I will write a lot about the subject.

But for a now
a few things
that may surprise you.

There is a connection between ADHD
(Attention Deficit Hyperactivety Disorder)
and Bipolar Disorder.
(And if you think ADHD is only about
consuming excessive sugar,
you are really neanderthal in your thinking
and need to do some extensive reading.)

There is also a correlation
between seizures and Bipolar Disorder.
(For our family member
the bipolar progressed extremely rapidly
after a few seizures, which, at the time,
the doctors could not explain.)

Bipolar Disorder
affects approximately 5.7 million adult Americans,
or about 2.6% of the U.S. population
age 18 and older every year.

83% of cases of Bipolar Disorder are classified as severe.

The median age of onset for Bipolar Disorder is 25 years.

Bipolar Disorder is the sixth leading cause
of disability in the world.

Some 20% of adolescents with major depression
develop Bipolar Disorder
within five years of the onset of depression.
(A friend of mine has a teenage son
who struggles with depression,
and I am writing these blog entries, in part, for her.)

Some with Bipolar Disorder develop a dual diagnosis.
They may start drinking or taking drugs
in an effort to numb the symptoms of their mental condition
and “even out” their bipolar state.
They aren’t drinking/taking drugs to get high,
but to experience what most of us call “normal,”
trying to get up and out of the black hole of depression
and “up” into a state of normalcy.
It is, for the most part,
an unconscious attempt to self-medicate.
But this, in turn,
brings on a whole slew of other problems
to be contended with.

Prison systems have a significant number
of dual diagnosis patients under lock and key.
Research has found that over 20%
of those currently residing in the United States prison system
could be classified as dual diagnosis.

The rate of suicides among people with Bipolar Disorder
is even higher than that for schizophrenics.
Some studies have come up with rates as high as 30%-50%.
Those with a dual diagnosis
have the highest risk of suicide.

Each year, over 30,000 people in the U.S.
take their own lives.
More than 90% of these people
are believed to have
a diagnosable mental disorder.

So,
the next time you say a prayer for those who are ill
I ask you,
I beg you
to specifically say a prayer
for those who live with bipolar disorder.
And then,
if our Good and Gracious God calls you to it,
become the prayer in action.

For those with bipolar disorder,
We Pray to The Lord.

For doctors and medical personnel
who treat bipolar disorder,
We Pray to The Lord.

For those family and friends
and others who care for those
with bipolar disorder,
We Pray to the Lord.

St. Dymphna, Pray for us.

Our Lady of Good Health, Pray for us.

Dearest Jesus,
Please afford all those in need of healing
the ability to reach up
and touch the hem of your garment.
Amen.

* * * * * *

* Part 1 - For Those Who are Ill

Part 2 - For A Better Understanding of Bipolar Disorder

Part 3 - For A Better Understanding Of The Medications Used To Treat Bipolar Disorder

Part 4 - To Get To Know Others With Bipolar Disorder

Part 5 -  For A Better Understanding Of The Different Types Of Bipolar Disorder

Part 6 - That We May Learn To Listen To Those With Bipolar Disorder

Part 7 - What Can I Do To Help Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

Part 8 - To Learn More About Bipolar Disorder

2012 And Beyond: Thy Kingdom Come

I read somewhere on online
that artists, lawyers, businessmen,
and hippies
have been making their way to Chichen Itza.

I go to Mexico every year.
A few years back,
I got to go twice in the same year.
My trips to Mexico
always include time at museums and historic ruins.
I’ve been to the Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City
more times than I count.
Honestly, you can spend a whole week in there
and not see it all,
not remember it all,
not take enough pictures.

I’ve been to the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon.
I’ve been to Tula.
I’ve visited the ruins in Oaxaca.

Chichen Itza is on my list.
In all honesty,
I’m a little jealous
of those who made there way down.
I hope to get there one day.

But one thing that just gets my goat
is all of this 2012 hype.
People without a clue
spread such garbage.
And even people who have somewhat of a clue
(like the History Channel)
use the wrong calendar
when discussing 2012.

And guess what?
We’re still here!
No surprise,
at least,
not for me.

Now,
I’m not an historian
and don’t have anything more
than an interest
in the ancient ruins of Mexico.
And I must admit
my interest is more Aztec than Mayan.
You can’t visit museums
as much as I have
and not learn a little something along the way.

But, alas,
even the History Channel
in at least one program
got it wrong.

What I’ve seen
is the image of the Aztec calendar used
when people discussed this 2012 stuff.
The 2012 doomsday stuff
(which I think was really stunt
to get people to buy stuff, spend money)
is based on the Mayan Calendar.

I mean,
even Google gets it wrong.
Google Mayan Calendar Long Count
and under images you get the Aztec.

And let’s get specific here.
They Mayan’s have more than one calendar:
 - The Tzolkin or Sacred Round
 - The Haab or Civil Calendar (which most resembles our the calendar we currently use)
 - The Long Count (the one inspiring all of the doomsday stuff)

The Tzolkin is know as the divine calendar.
It is called the Sacred Round or Tzolkin,
which means the distribution of days.
This is a cyclic calendar.
Using this calendar,
there are 260 days,
with 20 periods (months) of 13 days.
This used to determine religious and ceremonial events.

The Haab is a solar calendar
and has 365 days.
It is divide into 18 months with 20 days each.
It has one month that is only 5 days long.

The Long Count Calendar is  an astronomical calendar.
It was used to track longer periods of time.
The Mayas referred to time as the “universal cycle”.
Each such cycle is calculated to be 2,880,000 days
(about 7885 solar years).
The Mayans believed that the universe is destroyed
and then recreated at the start of each universal cycle.
And so here we have the belief
that inspired all of this end of the world doomsday stuff.
It’s the end of the cycle.
But the universe recreates itself after being destroyed.
It’s not the end of time.
It’s the beginning of a new era.   

The Tzolkin and Haab calendars
were combined
to create a calendar of much longer “time.”
This is how the Mayas
created the Long Count Calendar.   

OK.
Did you see
that all describing word
in the previous paragraphs?
CYCLE.
It’s not linear, folks.
Time, according to Mayan tradition and beliefs,
is CYCLIC.
It’s the end of one cycle,
but the beginning of a new cycle.
It’s the beginning of a new era.

I hope to one day visit Chichen Itza.
Not because of everything I just detailed here.
But because
this ancient stuff is just so darn interesting.

And so we have
artists, lawyers, businessmen,
and hippies
making their way to Chichen Itza.
Maybe they get it.
Maybe those people get it.
It’s the beginning of a new era.

At least,
I would hope so.

I mean,
it’s like the more civilized we’ve become
the more barbaric we have become.
We have all of this technology
and so little concern about others.
We have become a nation
that devours her children
in more ways than one,
and then when we celebrate the Dec. 12th feastday
of Our Lady of Guadalupe
we dare call the Aztecs
horrible and barbaric for human sacrifice.

It’s time, people.
It’s time.

It’s time to create that new era. . . .

. . .an era where children can go to school
and not worry about being safe.

. . .an era when having a child
and rearing a child
is considered a blessing,
a worthy and valued vocation.

. . .an era where we care for those who are ill,
when we take care of those with mental/emotional illness.

. . .an era where we actually spend time
and listen to our neighbor
and care and worry about him/her.

. . .an era when we hate less
and love more.. . .
. . .a era where we don’t label people,
but just love them
and care for them
for who they are:
Children of God.

. . .an era where we own less
(accumulate less stuff)
but share more, give more.

. . .an era where we clean not only the air,
the land and the water,
but our innermost being.

Maybe, in the end,
the ancient Mayas had it right.
It’s time, people.
It’s time.

Thy Kingdom Come.
Are you up for the challenge?

* * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * *

I Am A Pastoral Musician

I asked a good friend
to offer the opening prayer
at the Choir Festival this Saturday.

Fr. Tom and I go way back.
He asked me
what was has been
the most significant things in my ministry
over these past 30 years.

Below is, quite literally,
the email message I responded with.
I decided to post here
and in my 30 Years In Music Blog as well.
I just thought
that those who read my occasional ramblings
on electronic parchment
might want to know
just what exactly
goes on in Rubi’s head.

The most significant things about my ministry
these past 30 years??

a few things come to mind. . ..

Gratitude
Learning to be grateful for many things,
. . . like years and years of classical piano study my parents gave me.
I hated piano lessons as a teenager,
but now can't imagine my life without it.
We sometimes walked to piano lessons with my mother
because my father worked swing-shift,
I think it was about 7 miles. . . I hated it!!!!
But today,
I am ever grateful my mother made us walk those miles
and made us take those piano lessons. . ..

gratitude. . . .I own a baby grand piano,
also a gift from my mother. . .
. . .What mother ever gave her daughter
a baby grand piano for a gift???

Learning what is my talent. . .
A lot people really don't know what their talent is.
Talent isn't necessarily artistic.
A lot of people don't know that either.
But what is my talent???
.. . is it really music?
Maybe.
But I'm more inclined to think
that it's bringing out the talent in others.
Sometimes they don't even see it.
I help them "see" that all things are possible.
Maybe music is the gift.
But I'm really inclined to think music is the avenue to something greater.
Bringing out the talent of others is the gift.
And even more,
bringing out the musical talent in others,
in turns, helps to bring greater gifts
that they didn't know they had.
 . . yes. . . music is the avenue. . .

The most significant thing?
The children.
Every parish I have ever served in
I have tried hard to develop a children's choir.
Some places had success stories to tell, others not so much.
80% of people who sing in choirs as an adult
sang in a choir as a child.
This is a music ministry no-brainer.
After 30 years,
I am graced by God to see and experience this statistic first-hand.

. . .and children are so free.
I love working with adults,
but adults always have an opinion. .
. . it's too fast, too slow, too high, too low,
it's a boring song, I don't like that song,
the other song was better, why do we have to learn this song. . .
Children just sing.
Children make you laugh.
And when they get it, when they really get,
the children will make you cry.

Even more,
I am a child of the 80%.
I sang in the children's choir once upon a time.
Who would have thought that a gazillion years later,
I would be living out the statistic
that I so often quote to others . .
 . . in more ways than one. . .

In the end,
I know that I am not just leading music
for Sunday to Sunday.
I am doing something
that will create the musician
who will one day replace me.
That director will come from the children.
80% of people who sing in choirs as adults
sang in a choir as a child.
And one of those children will actually grow up
to be the parish's music director.

Yes
the children are the most significant part
of my music ministry. . .

. . .another thought about things significant. .  .

Music in general.
A musician takes years to make.
And just being a musician
doesn't necessarily make one a Pastoral Musician.
Still,
it takes years to make a musician.

In recent years,
I've dedicated a part of myself
to help create musicians,
more specifically, pianists.

I teach at both
COMPAS - Center of Music and Performing Arts Southwest
and
Garage Cultural - Center of Music and Visual Arts.
And more recently,
offering lessons in my home studio.

While neither of these schools are on
an ecclesial acre of land,
I do consider it a part of my mission and ministry.
In fact,
some of my students have been my own choir members,
one of which will be a soloists during the children's portion
of Saturday's program.

But again. . .
it goes back to the mission
of creating the musician who will one day replace me.

I guess what I'm trying to say
is that it's not enough to know
that 80% of people who sing in the choir as adult
sang in a choir as a child.
It's not enough to form a children's choir,
to form the children in the music ministry.
I think it is also necessary
to form that young musician,
who,
in time,
will be formed as a Pastoral Musician.

. . .while my ministry has had her ups and downs,
her fun pastors to work with
and her not so fun pastors to work with,
I wouldn't change it for the world.
I am a Pastoral Musician.
This is my Vocation.

. . and that vocation continues to grow and evolve
even after 30 years. . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

about the photo:
the musically talented hands of one of my piano students!

All Shall Be Well

I don't know. . .
I've been feeling a little
Julian of Norwich lately. . .
could have something to do with
having 2 people very close to me
that were/are in 2 different hospitals,
one person elderly
and the other young,
and trying to celebrate Holy Triduum
in the midst of it all.

Anyhow,
Julian of Norwich gets to the heart of things.

. . and I must say
that I do agree with Mother Julian.
All Shall Be Well.

* * * * * * * * * *

“All shall be well,
and all shall be well
and all manner of thing shall be well.”

“God loved us before he made us;
 and his love has never diminished and never shall.”

“The greatest honor we can give Almighty God
is to live gladly because of the knowledge of his love.”

"Pray inwardly,
even if you do not enjoy it.
 It does good, though you feel nothing.
Yes, even though you think you are doing nothing."


“See that I am God.
See that I am in everything.
See that I do everything.
See that I have never stopped ordering my works,
nor ever shall, eternally.
See that I lead everything
on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began,
by the same power, wisdom and love with which I made it.
How can anything be amiss?”

“If there is anywhere on earth a lover of God
who is always kept safe,
I know nothing of it,
for it was not shown to me.
But this was shown:
that in falling and rising again
we are always kept in that same precious love.”

“... so our customary practice of prayer was brought to mind:
how through our ignorance
 and inexperience in the ways of love
we spend so much time on petition.
I saw that it is indeed more worthy of God
and more truly pleasing to him that through his goodness
we should pray with full confidence,
and by his grace cling to him with real understanding and unshakeable love,
than that we should go on making as many petitions
as our souls are capable of.”

An Overwhelming Sadness

So sad.
Really it’s all so sad.
I am just overwhelmed by sadness.

What pushes people to that point?
Is it that we didn’t show them enough love?
Is it that we didn’t show them
that we would, in fact,
be there for them when they needed us?
Is it that they didn’t believe it?

Why didn’t he pick the phone and call someone,
call us?
Why didn’t he drive to a friend’s house?
Why didn’t he go to the hospital emergency room
and tell them
he was afraid he might hurt himself?

What happens?
How do people get so filled with sadness
that they decide to take their own life?

I’m filled with a sadness
that words simply cannot express.

Am I sad
because I loved him like my own son?

Am I sad                   
because my sons lost a very dear friend?

Am I sad
because his mother and father
experience this tragedy?

Am I sad
because his older brother
and younger sister
lost someone dear to them?

Am I sad
because I worry that we didn’t do enough,
weren’t there for him,
when he might have needed us?

An overwhelming sadness. .
. . .like waves of water
that rush in to drown. . .
. . .a sadness that streams from eyes.

Maybe am I sad
because a young person
was so in despair
that he took his own life.

I never met his mother.
While growing up
he lived with his father and step-mother.
Yet,
I feel a sorrow beyond comprehension
for his mother.
She brought him into this world,
into life.

If a woman loses her husband
she is a widow.
What is she if she loses her son?
. . .a sadness that is so tremendous,
a sadness that overwhelms.

I’m surrounded by memories.
He helped repair my front steps
in the old house.
He helped us move
here to this house.

He practically lived with us
when my sons were in high school.

He ate and showered
and did his laundry at our house.
I bought him Christmas gifts
as if he were my own son.

I remember when he got his driver’s license.
I remember telling him to
always where his seat belt.
Don’t drink and drive.
One would have thought
I was his mother.

We shared all of life’s up and downs. .
. . .like family.

I guess these are the times
when one realizes
that family
has absolutely nothing to do with blood
but everything to do with love.
I loved him
like my own son.

And now he is dead.

As of the writing of this blog post
we do not know
the funeral arrangements.

What can I do?

What can anyone do?

As a pastoral musician
I can only do
that which comes so natural to me.

You know,
this morning on my facebook
I was asking my fb friends
to offer suggestions
on ways to celebrate
30 years in ministry.
Right now,
that doesn’t seem so important anymore.

What can I do?

I can sing
all of those songs
Nick was unable to sing
during his final moments of life.

I can sing today
and the weeks to come.
I will sing during all of Lent
and sing him right into
the Resurrection Promise of Easter Sunday.

. . . .Today. . . .Tomorrow. . .
Forever I will sing. . .

“Softy and tenderly Jesus is calling
calling for you and for me. . . .
. . . Come home. . .”

“Jesus, remember me
when you come into your kingdom . . .”

“ . . .blest are you who weep and morn
for one day you shall laugh. . .”

“. .. . . For to his angels he's given a command
to guard you in all of your ways. . .”

Nick,
May the angels lead into paradise.
May the martyrs come to welcome you
and take you to the Holy City,
the new and eternal Jerusalem.

Children's Choir Christmas Concert

(this is my nativity scene, which I place on top of my baby grand piano at home)

 Please come and let the Children of Southwest Detroit
offer you the Christmas Story
told in Song, Scripture and Poetry
in Spanish, English and a little bit of Latin!

The concert is free.
It will take place on:

Friday, Dec. 16th

at St. Gabriel Church, 8118 W. Vernor, Detroit, MI

Daily mass at 6:00p.m.
Followed by the concert
at approximately 6:30p.m in the church building
w/fiesta after that in the hall!

The children will be accompanied by
musicians from the adult choir.
And the children, themselves,
will play various hand-held percussion instruments:
maracas, claves, etc.

Parking behind the church.
The Cesar Chavez Academy is located next to the church
with more parking behind the Academy
and even more parking on Norman Street,
near the Academy playground area.

And, in case you are interested,
here is the program line-up
(subject to change, of course!)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Children’s Choir Christmas Concert - Dec. 16th

Prepare the Way (Taize)
     Wonder Counselor Poem 
     recited by:   Esther, Wendy, Giselle

Lectura
     La Anunciación de la Santísima Virgen María
     Proclamado por: Esther, Wendy, Giselle

The Visitation Poem recited by: Celine

Quiero Decir Que Sí

Magnificat (Taize)
     Magnificat Poem recited by: Anadelia

Lectura
El Sueño de San José - Proclamado por: Juan Diego

Hombre Justo

Lectura
     El Censo / El Nacimiento de Jesús
     Proclamado por - Juan Diego

Las Posadas - Entren Santos Peregrinos

Away In A Manger - Solo by: Elisa

Gloria (Taize)
     The Nativity Poem Recited by: Carlos

El Niño del Tambor

O Holy Night - Solo by: Giselle

Silent Night - Solo by: Lesley

The First Noel - Solo by: Celine

Peces En El Rio - Duet: Esther & Giselle

Go Tell It On The Mountain - Solo by: Wendy

Alegría, Alegría, Alegría

Mi Burrito Sabanero