Decisions - Part 1

I recently returned from a trip to Mexico.
And I do have a lot to write about that trip.
I have photos and video of the trip. . .
. . the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe. .
. . Mexico City’s Metropolitan Cathedral.. .
. . The Museum of the Templo Mayor. ..
. . .Cathedral of Our Lady of San Juan de Los Lagos. . .
. . .The Shrine Church of St. Toribio Romo. . .The Pyramids. . .
. . .The Giants of Tula. . .. . Museum of Anthrolopogy. . .
. . .Yes. . . I have thoughts on all of the above
and more.
And that will be forthcoming.

But I think I need to write about something else right now.
I need to write about
Decisions
And Discernment.
And this writing will be
at least two entries in this blog.
This first one,
on the process itself.
The second blog entry
will detail some of the thoughts and insights
that led up to the decision itself.

And I probably should have written on this subject
before I left for Mexico.
As it is,
waiting to write on this subject
has only served to give me
affirmation and confirmation
that the decisions made
via a discernment process
were, in fact, guided by the Holy Spirit.

Decisions.
Decisions are funny things.
Some people get upset
Because of the decisions of another.
There is a part of me that can understand that.
But then, there is a part of me that doesn’t.
I mean,
No one can decide something for you,
especially if it’s something of importance.
People have every right
not to like the decision of another.
But we cannot decide for another.
And if we try to change someone’s mind
about a decision they made,
well, depending on what the circumstances are,
that could be downright immoral.
I mean,
we could try and change someone’s mind about something.
But we may not have all of the information they have,
all of the memories they have.
And this all contributes to the decision making process.

As someone who has spent her entire adult life
(and a great chunk of my youth)
In some sort of ministry or another,
I know all too well that important decisions are made
After a period of reflection, prayer and meditation.
Important decisions are made after a period of discernment.

You know,
some people throw that word around,
“discernment,”
because it’s good ecclesial vocabulary.
But many don’t have a clue
As to what it really means.
What a pity.

Discernment.
These are not decisions
based on dollar signs.
These are not decisions
based on popularity contests.

Some decisions don’t require much thought at all.
For example,
deciding what to make for dinner.
I don’t need to think to long and hard about that
unless I’m trying to do something silly
like impress some dinner guests.

Other decisions,
well, some other decisions really require intense prayer.

We can’t just weigh the pros and cons
of a particular situation
and make our decisions based on that.
Doing so will make sure that the “pros” always wins,
which, in turn,
may mean taking the easy way out.
And as anyone involved in ministry knows,
the easy way is not always God’s way.

Discernment certainly is not based
on what would be the easiest thing for me to do,
or the easiest thing for those around me.
If it were,
the task wouldn’t be so hard,
so time consuming.

For the fact is,
if the path were easy
more people would be on it

And we can think a lot about how things may turn out.
“If I do A, then B or C might happen.
If I do X, then Y or Z might happen.”
This is thinking logically.
However, when making important decisions,
we need to remember
that not everyone in the world thinks, acts or reacts logically.
Discernment is not always logical. . .
well.. .logical as the world would see it.
And when people learn of the decision made,
well, they might not act or react logically either. . .

And so,
we must be ready to accept the consequences of decisions made
knowing that what may happen
may end up being something we never would have imagined.
And that, really, is a very good thing.
However, if you aren’t ready and open to accept the consequences
you aren’t ready to make the decision.

You must be open.
You must be ready.
If you walk into a decision
fearful of what the turnout might be,
You aren’t open.
And I think here is where we have some people
who get upset at the decisions made by others.
It may be that they aren’t open to the gift
that may just show up
On their doorstep.
Sometimes there are many gifts that lay dormant,
waiting for just the right change to occur
to blossom and become.
But some. . . .
. . .well, rather than being up for the challenge
are fearful or angry about the change.

The thing is,
change does happen.
Case in point: Parish Clustering.
Rather than be angry,
frustrated or fearful of the changes that clustering brings,
We need to look toward
what new gifts may land on our doorstep
when we cluster with another parish.
I've done anger.
And believe me,
this is much better.

Sometimes, in order to receive the gift,
you simply must be open to receiving it.
If you were truly open,
many a good thing would come to you.
Because you spent time meditating about it.
Because you spent quite some time in prayer about it.
You’ll make the decision
not really sure of what will come,
but ready for blessings,
Ready for good things,
including some challenges.

And challenges are gifts in disguise.
A crisis is really a turning point.
Where or what we turn toward
is really up to us.
Let’s face it.
In the challenge, in the crisis, we grow and become.
In my life,
I have found challenges
to be a part of the “selving” process.
When we cease “selving” we cease to grow.
I, myself, am someone
who needs that constant agitation.
I don’t function well
in a cozy, predictable setting.
It is the very struggle that gives life.
At least, it is as such for me.

Now,
there is also responsibility and expectation.
If I make this decision,
am I not holding up my responsibility?
Have I let down people who depend on me,
who expect something of me?

On the other hand,
Have the expectations I had been honored?
Have I been respected and honored?
And ever more important,
have I been able to accomplish
the goals and expectations
in this particular situation
that I have set for myself?
Why or why not?

And in the end,
I must ask myself,
“Where will I serve the greater good?”

And,
particularly to the clustering reality,
I can be reactive or proactive.
I choose the latter.
But I certainly didn’t chose it
without some extensive time in prayer.

And let me also say
that I’ve learned some new things
about the clustering process
that I did not know when I was praying, discerning.
And I must say,
this new bit of information
only serves to affirm the decisions I made
after intense prayer.

Many people do pray when making an important decision.
But I have known a few who don’t really
complete the circle of prayer.
Oh, they voice their concerns to the Merciful One.
They may seek the wisdom of Our Lady.
They cry out to Jesus.
But they fail to listen,
to be still and listen.
God is speaking in the quiet.

Oh, some read The Word.
And we hear and listen The Word in Church.
But until we just stop talking
We won’t hear the Word
as it is meant to heard for our lives.
It is in the quiet
that The Word is Heard.

Most who know me well
know that I begin my day at 4:30a.m.
In the quiet,
before the rest of the house
And the rest of the world wakes up.
Just to be in the quiet.
Oh, I can try to create the quiet during the day,
turning off the TV, the PC, the radio, the phone. . .
But there is always outside noise.
The best silence
is not the silence I try to create,
but the quiet that flows naturally.
My world just seems to be at it’s natural quietest at 4:30a.m. . . .
So I seek it, the quiet, with earnest.
I get up early just to be in the quiet.
And when I have something that requires special prayer. .
. . .well, I find myself awaking even earlier.

And let me also say
that there is a difference
between just being quiet
and really experiencing the quiet.

In the quiet. . .
that’s where important decisions are made.

In the quiet. . .
this is where God speaks.
At least,
this is where I find God speaks to me the most.

I am not listening to the quiet
if I am listening to all of those voices
telling me what to do.
Oh, maybe there is some message of importance
that they bring to me.
But it’s hard to listen
when all the voices come at me at once.
It really is hard, my friends.
It’s in the quiet
That I get the message.

And I am not listening to the quiet
if I am busy reacting
to the decisions other people have made.
I am not listening to the quiet
if I am reacting to how people react
to my decisions.
Reacting is not listening.

Listening to the quiet
means that I must stop talking.
Plain and simple.
Just Stop talking.
I know.
I learned this the had way.

I hope you enjoyed the song.
I love the first line of the song. . .
"I will come to you in your silence. . ."
Ain't that the truth?

Gracias, Diosito Misericordioso.
Thank you for the quiet.
May others come to know You
In the precious gift of silence.

Amen.

What is a Rosary?

I mean, really.
I know well what it is in terms of a tool for prayer.
But what else is for others?
How do others use the rosary,
Besides prayer.

We put rosaries in our cars.
I do so because as such
It becomes a symbol of my faith.
I also actually pray with it
On days when I find myself
Waiting for my son after football practice.
Any mom who has ever waited for their child. . .
For the school bus to return from a game or fieldtrip,
For them to exit the school after showers after a game. . .
Any mom knows that sometimes we just wait.
What do you do when you wait?
I pray with my rosary.
And I always have a rosary in my car.

Some wear a rosary as a tattoo.
That, perhaps, is also symbol.
Of all the images
That could be permanently painted on your body
I guess a rosary is a good choice.

Some wear the rosary as a piece of jewelry.
Now,
I have always had mixed emotions on that one.
I mean,
If my car can wear it,
Why shouldn’t people?
And wouldn’t it make more sense for people to wear it
Than for our cars to wear it?

But it is those who wear the rosary as a talisman
That have always given me concern.
As if, by wearing these magic beads,
They will somehow be protected from all harm.
This is where my mixed emotion
On wearing the rosary comes from.

There are all kinds of vulgar things
That people can wear as a necklace.
To be honest,
I would prefer to see them wearing a rosary
Than some vulgar statement or image.

But more and more
We are hearing stories
Of youth not allowed to wear the rosary as jewelry
Because it is a gang symbol.
A Dallas area student
Was told to remove or hide her rosary
For just such a reason.

But where are we
That schools have metal detectors
And security guards?
Where are we
That the rosary has been co-opted by gangs?

Where are we
When people would rather wear a rosary
Than pray a rosary?
Where are we
When people would rather have a rosary painted on them
Than to pray the rosary?
Where are we
When people would rather have their car wear the rosary
Than pray it?

Where are we
That people would use a rosary
As a talisman?

Maybe if more of us were praying the rosary
I wouldn’t find myself
Asking these questions. . .

. . and for those of us who know and understand,
there is no excuse. . .
. . even “no time” is no excuse. .
. . it’s as a said before,
there is always enough time
to pray three “hail marys”. . . .

Three Hail Marys

"There is always enough time to pray three ‘Hail Marys.’"

"There is always enough time
to pray three ‘Hail Marys.’"

That’s what Mary G. would always say.
She was one of those church ladies.
You know the ones I mean.
She did everything:
serve as Eucharistic Minister,
fill in for the secretary on her day off,
stuff the church bulletin,
count the collection money. . . .

She was very staunch in her ways,
often making me very angry
because she always thought
that her point of view
was the only point of view to have.

God has already called her home.
But her words
stay with me:
"There is always enough time
to pray three ‘Hail Marys’"

This really isn’t a hard practice for me to follow.
I have always had a devotion to our Blessed mother,
particularly under the tile of
Our Lady of Guadalupe.

I found myself
practicing this "Three Hail Marys" devotion last night
as I drove home from St. Gabriel parish
after a rehearsal last night.
As I neared the intersection
of Outer Drive and Fort Street,
where the cities of Lincoln Park and Detroit meet,
I found myself with more than enough time
to pray "Three Hail Marys."

A few years ago,
my eldest son was car-jacked there.
I suddenly realized
that I had been praying "Hail Mary"
every time I drive through that intersection.
Last night I realized
that the intersection is calling me to prayer.

At the time when my son was car-jacked,
I found my prayers were three-fold.
Of course,
I offered prayers for my son.

But I also offered prayers
for the young man
who held a gun to my son’s head
and shouted at him,
"Get out the ride."

What could have happened
in this young person’s life
that he chose to do this?

Where did he get the gun?

What did he want the car for?

Even as I write this
I offer prayers to Our Lady for him.
And I remember him
to St. Monica as well.

At the time
I also offered prayers up
for this young man’s mother.

Was she a good mother
whose son went down the wrong path?

Was she a bad mother
who just didn’t care?

Was this young man’s mother deceased?

Whoever she was
and whatever the situation
I found that I needed to offer prayers for her as well.

You know,
it isn’t just sacred space
because we worship there,
because the church building is there.

It’s sacred space
because we walk on it.

It’s sacred space
because we drive through it.

Outer Drive and Fort Street.
It’s a sacred land
because no matter how many times
I drive through that intersection
I always feel the sudden desire to pray.

Thank you, Mary G.
This time your point view
truly proved to be the only point of view to have.

There IS always enough time
to pray three Hail Marys.

About the photo:
Our Lady of Guadalupe Feast Day 2007
St. Hedwig Parish
Detroit, MI

You Reap What You Sow

Do you ever get the feeling that people just stop trying?
Or that people have just gotten plain lazy?

I have a couple of relatives in my family
who are immigrants,
both of which have attained permanent resident status legally.
One of them constantly reflects
on what is going on at work.
The average worker
will only do the minimum amount of work necessary
to receive the maximum amount of wages.
Conversely,
the employer will pay the minimum amount in wages,
just enough to keep his employees.

What ever happened to giving your all?
You know, a company is only as successful as her employees.
It would do us well to give a little more, especially nowadays.

If we work hard for our employer
then maybe our employer won’t go out of business.

And maybe you can’t pay your employees a whole lot,
with the economy being what is and all.
But you know,
giving out a Christmas ham
or turkey at Thanksgiving
might just be the edge
to keep your workers giving just a little more.
If you don’t normally have your staff work on weekends
but need them this Saturday for a special order that’s due,
buy their lunch.
Take care of your workers and maybe,
just maybe, they’ll take care of you.

Somehow,
many have just plain forgotten that we reap what we sow.

And last week,
I got really flustered.. . .even angry.
Now, I manage my anger pretty well.
I’m usually even tempered enough
to really examine a person’s motives and thoughts
before I explode at something they said or did.
I think what made me angry at what happened
was that the person didn’t do anything. . .
. . .and what they said showed me
that they weren’t even listening.

I went to local grocery store
and while there it started to rain very hard
with wind blowing pretty mightily, too.
Understandably, many of the shopping carts
had blown all over the parking lot.
One of them was on the way out to the street
where it would surely cause a major accident.
And then there were several more
that were being pushed
in that same direction by the wind. . . .

. . . .I suppose I should have gotten out of my car
in the wind and rain and all,
blocked the cars behind me, etc. . .
. . .Hindsight is 20/20. . .
but I did what I thought was the next best thing. . .
I called the grocery store on my cell phone
(I wasn’t the one driving!).
I mean,
they have employees who gather the carts, don’t they?
Not that I wanted to see anyone get drenched.
But that would have been better that seeing an accident.

Well.. . .It took me forever to get an actual person.
Push 1 for this. Push 2 for that.. .
and then a sub audio index. ..
Push 1 for this. Push 2 for that. . .
When I finally got through to an actual living person
she said I had the wrong number.

I tried to explain to her that I had just left the store
and was in my car
and the carts were on their way to Eureka road.
She told me to hang up
and dial again and ask for customer service. . . .?. . . .
I suppose it was just too much for her to transfer me
or to just plain communicate this information to the appropriate person herself.
Sadly, this grocery store has at least one employee
who has just stopped trying.

I mean, she didn’t even try hard enough
to placate me with a lie,
"thank you, ma’am. I’ll take care of right away."
She told me to hang up and call again. . . .

Oh. . and then, there’s the cell phone company.
We recently renewed one of the contracts.
We don’t have a land line,
but between us we have 5 cell phones.

OK.
Time to renew one of the contracts.
Well, the bill comes in with all sorts of charges,
extras I didn’t ask for
and one thing that was a part of the last contract
that I asked not to add this time around. . . .

And to top it all off,
when we got the phone, we had a problem.
When you push to get your voice mail,
it didn’t go to voice mail at all.
It rang someone else’s cell.

So, we get a call from the company
to see how we like the service.
I was polite,
but I told them about all the things that went wrong.
They promised to clear up the excess charges
and offered apologies.

Just to be sure,
I went to the place where the contract was made
a couple of days later.
The fact is, all of those charges were still on the phone.

And then. . . .the one assisting me
accused me of setting the wrong phone
number for the voice mail,
when, in fact, the very person who was accusing me
was the one who set everything on the phone
the day the contact was renewed. . . .

I mean, have people just stopped trying or what???
What did this cell company reap?
Next time around, we won’t be using them.

So, what’s my point with all of this venting?
My point is that sometimes adults
need to go back and relearn some basic stuff.

Say, "I’m sorry," if you’ve made a mistake.

Say, "please," when you should.

If you promise to do something, then, just do it.
If something happens that you are unable to follow through,
offer an apology and see what you can do to make it right.

Don’t accuse someone
of your own error.

Say, "thank you, " often.
To God.
To your family and friends.
I have learned that the more you say, "thank you,"
the more blessings you’ll receive.

The more you say "thank you,"
the more reasons you will have
to say, "thank you."

Reciprocate, if possible,
when someone does something nice for you.
And again, a "thank you" goes a long way.

And remember,
always give a little bit more when you are able.
A little extra time,
a little extra effort.
Send out a little extra prayer.
You’ll appreciate this later,
when it’s your turn to reap.
And the thing is,
we never know when that is going to be.

You reap what you sow.
It’s really not that hard a lesson
to learn from the Gospel.

Litany of Our Lady of the Americas

Our Lady of Guadalupe,
Empress of the Americas;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Lugan,
Patroness of Argentina;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of The Valley,
Patroness of Argentina;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Copacabana,
Patroness of Bolivia:
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Aparecida;
Patroness of Brazil;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of the Cape,
Patroness of Quebec, Canada;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Carmel of Maipu,
Patroness of Chile;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Chiquinqui,
Patroness of Columbia;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of the Angels,
Patroness of Costa Rica;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Charity of Cobre,
Patroness of Cuba;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Presentation of Quinche,
Patroness of Ecuador;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception,
Patroness of the United States;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Peace,
Patroness of El Salvador;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of the Rosary,
Patroness of Guatemala;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Suyapa,
Patroness of Honduras;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Agualeguas,
Patroness of Agueleguas, Mexico;
Pray for us.

Virgin of Juquila,
Patroness of Oaxaca, Mexico;
Pray for us.

Virgin of Octlan,
Patroness of Tlascala, Mexico;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Roble,
Paroness of Mexico;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of San Juan de los Lagos,
Patroness of Jalisco, Mexico;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of El Viejo,
Patroness of Nicaragua;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Caacupe,
Patroness of Paraguay;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Evangelization,
Patroness of Peru;
Pray for us.

Virgin of the Well,
Patroness of Puerto Rico;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Divine Providence,
Patroness of Puerto Rico;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Monserratte,
Patroness of Puerto Rico;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of High Grace,
Patroness of the Dominican Republic;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Mercedes,
Patroness of the Dominican Republic;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of the Thirty Three,
Patroness of Uruguay;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of Coromoto,
Patroness of Venezuela;
Pray for us.

Our Lady of the Valley of the Holy Spirit,
Patroness of Venezuela;
Pray for us.

Pray for us, Holy Mother of God,
That we may be worthy of the promises of Christ.
Amen.

Litany compiled by Rubi Martinez-Bernat.

En español: Letanía de la Virgen de las Américas

My Personal Prayer for The United States

For California;
For those who have lost homes, possessions in the fire;
For those hurt in the blaze;
For firefighters;
For policemen and rescue personnel;
For hospitals, doctors, nurses and all who tend those needing medical care.

For Louisiana, especially for New Orleans;
For those who have lost homes, possessions in the flood;
For business that recently reopened after Katrina forced to close again after this flood.

For Georgia;
For Lake Lanier;
For the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers;
For those forced to drill their own wells for water;
For rain.

For family pets and for wildlife lost or hurt in fire, flood and drought.

For Michigan;
For those who have left our state seeking employment, housing;
For those who remain hoping for a better tomorrow for our state;
For business to return to Michigan;
For Chrysler, Ford and GM;
For the UAW;
For Michigan’s Migrant farm workers as they end the harvest season and for their safe return home;
In thanksgiving for beautiful Michigan autumn colors.

For all who find themselves in a shelter;
For those who supply the shelter with food, blankets, with the work of their hands;
For our generosity when others find themselves in need.

For decent housing;
For those who have lost their homes to foreclosure;
For those who continue to struggle to keep their homes amidst rising interest rates;
For predatory mortgage lenders;
For predatory mortgage brokers;
For those forced to sell their homes;
For those buying a home, especially for first- time buyers.

For jobs for the unemployed and underemployed;
For just wages;
For pride in the work of our hands.

For the uninsured;
For the under-insured;
For the falsely insured;
For medical care for all who need it.

For toys that are safe for our nation’s children to play with;
For school that are safe;
For food that is safe for our country to eat.

For churches across the country;
For all houses of worship to be loving and welcoming to all;
For leaders who are pastoral and committed to service;
For parishes that will cluster, merge or close;
For healing.

For immigrants;
For the children of immigrants;
For laws that are just;
For laws that are humane;
For those seeking citizenship, especially those of my own family.

For an end to racial profiling;
For an end to apathy and complacency.

For military personnel, especially those stationed abroad;
For their safety and their safe return home;
For good medical attention when it is needed;
For their family, friends and all who love them;
For military personnel who lost their life seeking peace.

For a nation that cares for her elderly as well and for her young;
For a nation that cares for her natural environment;
For a nation filled with peace.

Hear this prayer, O Merciful One.
In Your time, Thy will be done.

Que así sea.